Why, God, why?

Have you ever wondered why God made you and for what purpose?

There has been so many times I have wondered this in my life. There were nights where I was homeless and had no money and no food, and no way to get any of the things I needed in life. I was angry at the world and everything in it. I started committing crimes to get the necessities of life. I got caught after attempting to rob someone for drugs one night at the age of nineteen. Sitting in jail in the most disgusting holding cell I was so broken. I didn't even care anymore or have any strength left in my body. I laid on that urine, vomit, and feces covered floor and fell asleep just thankful for all of the fight to be over in life. After six months in the dirtiest, most disgusting, and unloving place I had ever been; I was sentenced to twelve to twenty years, and was on my way to prison. I called out to God for the wrong reason while in jail, I asked for Him to just get me out of this trouble I was in and I would change, I swear! How many times have we all made that prayer? I hadn't even thought about Jesus one time when I was out, but now I called on Him out of selfishness! He didn't answer that prayer, but did what was according to His will. He sent His children to minister to me, and I was stubborn and never fully gave my heart to Jesus for six years while in prison. God never relented, child after child He sent to me and tried to get me to give my life to Jesus! I remember nights just crying and wondering why I was alive, what was the purpose. I never truly had a home where I was really wanted. Always the step child who was from an out of wedlock encounter. One day feeling like that same kid I was at nineteen on that disgusting jail floor, so broken. I gave my life to Jesus because I didn't know what else to do in life by myself, Jesus could do better for me then I could! The child of God told me, " there's only one puzzle piece that fits the hole in your heart! That's Jesus! No amount of drugs, women, or anything you try to fill that hole with fill it!"

I gave my life to Jesus and He transformed my life every day from that very moment. Life wasn't perfect, I still had six years to do in prison, and still had many more mistakes I would make. God started to show me who He had made me to be and how special He had made me. Through all the trials of life I had been strengthened to be an overcomer of the world. Slowly, Jesus and I walked side by side and He removed sin from my life and showed me how this stuff hurt me, and why He didn't want it for my life. He told me He didn't want sin because it caused death and heartache in my life, and out of love He helps us remove the bad stuff from our lives! There was and still are bad days, and still moments I was hurt and got overwhelmed with life to the point I break down in tears!

God showed me Hebrews 12:5-11. It quotes Proverbs 3:11,12, please take a second to read it. "Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews12:11 God let me go through hard times to be strengthened by it, but as I went astray from Him he sent me to prison to discipline me and save me from the grasps of Satan, not because He's mean, but did it for my eternal righteousness! We get to focused on this life, but God is working your life for you to have eternal life in heaven.

Don't give up, don't be discouraged, draw closer to God and let Him guide your life. He will show you the special person He made you to be, and lead you down the path of life that He destined you for, and I promise He has more for you than you can even dream for yourself! You're not alone!

Kory B.