This is me - Greg

I grew up in a sexually and physically abusive home. I am the youngest of my siblings, and I always felt like I didn't fit in. I have been in and out of prison for the past thirty two years trying to figure out who I am.

Even when we attended church and a private Baptist school, I felt as though I was an alien. For years I have turned to man for answers instead of God because I blamed Him for making a mistake - ME! Since God would not answer my prayers, I would seek out spiritual men that I thought had all the answers to my problems. Men like Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagee, David Jeremiah, Charles Stanley, Chuck Swindoll, and even Billy Graham. Unfortunately, none of these men gave me the answers that I desperately needed.

Growing up abused, I turned and abused others. Because of the abuse, I turned to homosexuality. I knew God was real, and I knew heaven and hell were real, but I didn't feel real myself. Nevertheless, I still felt the pull between the two opposing forces for the longest time Sadly, homosexuality was winning. It was winning, because it gave me instant relief and satisfaction. I didn't have to go look for it, it came looking for me. Getting the other help took time and effort, and with no results or satisfaction, I continued feeling not wanted.

It took over twenty years of searching for answers in prison. I tried to juggle both forces only to get more depressed and frustrated. Growing up in church, I heard Scriptures like Revelation 3:16, which says, "I wish that you were either hot or cold, but since you are lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth." Or how about James 1:8 that says, "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." Basically these two Scriptures are saying that you can't be on the fence, you have to choose one or the other. In Deuteronomy chapter 30:15-20, God told the Israelites that they must choose between life or death. If you choose life, you are choosing prosperity. If you choose death, you are choosing destruction. I had to make a choice.

That decision came one night back in 2016 when I was laying on my bunk and watching TV. I was surfing the channels when I heard a voice say, "STOP." It wasn't an audible voice but it was very clear. The channel I stopped on was CBN (Christian Broadcast Network). At this particular time there was a man talking about the rapture. He then asked some questions that scared me because I thought he was talking directly to me. He asked these questions, "Are you tired of your life?" Do you want something more meaningful, a more genuine expression of love in your life? Do you feel like something is missing or that you have a void that has not been filled? If so, call unto Jesus, He will hear you and answer you. As I began to pray, I felt this calm peace and I began to cry. For the first time I felt free as I accepted Christ as my Savior.

I would like to say that by accepting Jesus, all my problems just disappeared. I wish that I could tell people how he delivered me from homosexuality, but I can't. Yes, He did change me, but it took time for me to accept that change. Did I fall at times? Of course! But the more important question is did I stay down or did I get back up? If I stayed down, then I would not be able to share this testimony. Here is the good news, according to Proverbs 24:16, it says that a righteous man will fall seven times but he gets back up. Being a Christian is not an easy life, but it is rewarding. Colossians 3:23-24 says you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

Since accepting Christ as my Savior, I have the desire to want to help other people that struggle not only with sexual addictions but with sin in general. I know that if Christ can save me from homosexuality, he can definitely save you. He adopted me as His child, and He wants to do the same for you.